It’s irresponsible to loosely toss around emotionally charged
accusations like “spiritual abuse,” “Christian cults” and “controlling
ministries.” I wouldn’t want to stand before Jesus and give account for
misspoken words that carry the potential to tear down what He is
building.
On the other hand, it’s also irresponsible to turn a blind eye to
spiritual abuse, Christian cults and controlling ministries. I wouldn’t
want to stand before Jesus and give account for supporting ministries
that are tearing down what He is building.
When spiritual leaders are caught in sex abuse scandals, the secular
and Christian media alike pen stories that offer the detestable details
and dogged denials. But spiritual abuse, cultish churches and
controlling ministries are less often exposed than pastors who coerce
teenaged boys and unsuspecting church secretaries to have sexual
relations.
Victims of abusive church authority structures may not even realize
what they are enduring until they escape its grip. Spiritual abuse is
often subtle. Christian cult leaders don’t always operate like Jim
Jones. Controlling ministries tend to hide behind the guise of spiritual
coverings. And far too many outsiders are not willing to even question
the messages and practices of such churches. It takes lovers of truth
with spiritual discernment to recognize the sometimes-subtle signs of
abusive churches. And it takes courage to confront it.
What exactly is spiritual abuse? Jeff VanVonderen, co-author of the
classic book The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, explains it this way:
“Spiritual abuse occurs when someone in a position of spiritual
authority … misuses that authority placing themselves over God’s people
to control, coerce or manipulate them for seemingly godly purposes which
are really their own.”
Spiritual abuse is hardly a new phenomenon. You can find instances in
the Bible of spiritual leaders exploiting people to build their
kingdoms. In Jeremiah 8, the Lord called out the abuse of prophets and
priests, saying, “They dress the wound of my people as though it were
not serious” (v. 11 NIV).
The root problems of people in the “church” were treated superficially.
In other words, the pastor put a Band-Aid on the problem so things
looked good from the outside but the wound was festering on the inside.
The pastor’s prominence was more important than the legitimate needs of
the congregation.
Today, this manifests as spiritual leaders recruiting volunteers to
build their ministries while neglecting to minister to the real needs of
hurting people. In such cases, churches become like businesses. The
pastor is more like a CEO than a spiritual leader. Staff meetings center
on marketing initiatives that will bring more people—who will bring
more tithes and offerings—into the sanctuary. Church services becomes
about external appearances, but the white washed tombs are full of dead
men’s bones.
Jesus addressed spiritual abuse in His day. Beyond His warnings about
the Pharisees, Jesus also pointed out ravenous wolves. These ravenous
wolves look much like anointed prophets, but their motives are
dastardly. Today, the spiritually abusive Pharisaical pastor has a long
list of rules and demands and little grace for those who don’t rise to
the occasion.
Entire books have been written on spiritual abuse. Those books will
help you see spiritual abuse for what it is, how you got sucked into the
cycle, how to break free from spiritual abuse, and how to recover from
spiritual abuse once you’ve escaped its clutches. But for now, I want to
leave you with some nuggets from Dave Johnson and VanVonderen’s book,
The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse.
Power-posturing is a telltale sign of spiritual abuse. Power-posturing
leaders spend a lot of time focused on their own authority and
reminding others of it. Johnson and VanVonderen say this is necessary
because their spiritual authority isn’t real—based on genuine godly
character—it is postured.
In practical terms, this might manifest as a leader who likes to remind
the congregation that he can excommunicate people or that any anointing
you are flowing in comes from the head (him). This leader can never be
questioned, and is usually not accountable to anyone. Those around him
are usually mere "yes men" who do his bidding in exchange for delegated
authority to lord over others.
Performance preoccupation is a sign of spiritual abuse. Johnson and VanVonderen note that obedience and submission are two important words often used in abusive church structures.
Don’t get me wrong. Obedience and submission are important. But
spiritual abuse often shames or scares people into obedience and
submission. True obedience is a matter of the heart. Spiritual abusers
apply undue pressure that is not from God. That pressure is usually
applied to get you to do the leader’s will, not God’s will.
Unspoken rules are common in instances of spiritual abuse.
In abusive spiritual systems, Johnson and VanVonderen offer, people’s
lives are controlled from the outside in by rules, spoken and unspoken.
“Unspoken rules are those that govern unhealthy churches of families
but are not said out loud. Because they are not said out loud, you don’t
find out that they’re there until you break them,” Johnson and
VanVonderen write. It often seems these “rules” hold more power than
scripture.
The “Can’t Talk” rule is seen where spiritual abuse is present.
Johnson and VanVonderen explain that the “can’t talk” rule blames the
person who talks, and the ensuing punishments pressure questioners into
silence.
If you voice a problem you become the problem. If you question why the
church no longer picks up the poor kids in the ministry van but has
shifted its focus to more affluent neighborhoods, you are removed from
your role as a volunteer driver. Others see your fate and decide they'd
better not rock the boat. It's a form of intimidation.
Lack of balance and extremism is often present where spiritual abuse lives.
This manifests as an unbalanced approach to living out the truth of the
Christian life. Johnson and VanVonderen explain that in these systems
it is more important to act according to the word of a leader who has “a
word” for you than to act according to what you know to be true from
Scripture, or simply from your spiritual-growth history.
The truth is prophetic words don’t carry the same weight as Scripture,
and you can hear from God for yourself. When you rely on other people to
tell you what God is saying, you open the door to control and
manipulation.
It’s not possible to fully expose the inner workings of spiritual
abuse, Christian cults and controlling churches in a single article. My
goal is to raise awareness of a troubling issue and get you thinking—not
to send you on a witch hunt for spiritual abusers.
If you think you are part of a spiritually abusive cult-like or
controlling church, ask the Lord to break any deception off your mind
and show you the truth. The truth could be that you are in a healthy
church and you just need to die to self. But it could be that you are in
an abusive system and you need to break free. If your heart is purely
seeking the truth, the Holy Spirit will surely guide you there (John
16:13).
Jennifer LeClaire
http://www.jenniferleclaire.org
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